Our country is facing a very important presidential election this year. I would like to see every eligible voter excited enough about the future that they will register and vote. Many clients I serve have lost hope due to on-going problems and seemingly no way out. My heart goes out to them and we work toward change. The freedoms we enjoy as citizens of the United States give special meaning to words about democracy, citizenship, patriotism and independence. Laws protect our freedom and the processes of democracy need our attention; voting is one way to ensure that we have a voice for change. There are some things I would like to occur to improve the quality of the lives of those we serve. I would like to see better skills training for students, such that they are better equipped for the demands of life. I would like to see more professional support groups to aid persons who have needs related to life changes and demands. What would you change? I would enjoy hearing your ideas about freedom and some ways you want to advocate for change. Let’s get together and chat about it; please call me soon.

Dear Dr. King: What causes the most problems in a marriage, money issues or communication issues? A.K., Walhalla, S.C.

Dear A.K.: I believe that failure to communicate about issues or poor communication about issues such as money damages marriages. One of the goals that I have for couples is for them to learn how to talk and share and address problems before they explode. I believe people need to practice their social skills and learn how to share feelings with another person. For help with marriage, you can heat up your love life; contact Mrs. Tina Wilson Taylor who leads marriage sessions in Clemson. Reach her at 864-207-8338.

Dear Dr. King: Do you feel that if our society had more and better mental health facilities and medication made available to them, would this cut down on the amount of people in prison? C.C. Walhalla, S.C.

Dear C.C.: No, I do not believe this. Prisons are needed to house persons who break the law and get caught. The prison population and those with mental illness are served by two different systems. The illegal acts committed by a mentally ill person may include such misdemeanors as public nuisance, vagrancy and disturbing the peace. Such behaviors may not reach the magnitude of felony level offenses. I believe that prevention is needed to address needs of persons at-risk for delinquency and illegal activity and behaviors indicative of mental illness.

Dear Dr. King: Because men are not known for changing in a relationship, and women are known for changing in a relationship, why do so many women insist on being in relationships with the “bad boy” hoping he changes? Name on file, Seneca, S.C.

Dear Seneca reader: As near as I can tell, “bad boys” are more fascinating and needy than conservative guys and as such may be more appealing and interesting. As to trying to change these boys, it may be that the women believe that love can conquer all and they can influence the bad boy for his own good. Bad boys have some serious emotional needs. Anyone trying to change another person is probably operating with a high level of energy and over-optimism. A person who insists on trying to change someone else needs to learn the meaning of the Serenity Prayer.

Dr. Debra A. King is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Professional Counselor Supervisor in the Upstate. You may reach her at askdrdebraking@aol.com or directorofthecommunitycenter@yahoo.com.