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Home Country: May the best bull rider win the election

September 5, 2008 - 12:00 a.m. EST

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Slim Randles
slimrandles.com
Slim Randles

“This whole election process just doesn’t work for me,” Dud said, sipping his coffee. “There’s no way we can tell who is best for the job.”

Doc, being the senior member of the Mule Barn truck stop’s world dilemma think tank, looked kindly at Dud. “Well, haven’t you been reading what each guy stands for, Dud?”

Dud shrugged. “Sure. But I firmly believe they only tell you what you want to hear. They’re the best, and the other guy is going to take you straight to ruined aspirations.”

“Ruined aspirations?” piped up Steve, the cowboy with the owlish look of pure bowlegged intellectualism. “That’s why I’ve always thought we need a contest. A real contest. Have them put their aspirations where they’ll do the most good.”

“A contest?”

“Bull riding,” said Steve, nodding sagely. “Just put them on bulls and the first one to fall off loses.”

“But what does bull riding have to do with taxes and warfare and education and all that stuff?” asked Doc.

“Nothing at all,” said Steve, “but you can bet it will separate the serious candidates from the oh-what-the-heck guys.”

“I like what I’m hearing here,” said Dud, with a grin. “Only problem is, if they ride bulls, one of them might get killed.”

Steve grinned, “Simplifies the selection process, doesn’t it?”

Brought to you by 3Rivers Archery for your traditional bowhunting needs. Visit them at 3RiversArchery.com. Slim Randles is a veteran newspaperman and outdoorsman and is a registered outfitter and guide. Both his novels and non-fiction books are based on rural living, and he has also been an award-winning columnist for the largest daily newspapers in Alaska and New Mexico.

In addition to writing, Slim has paddled a canoe down the Yukon River, driven a dog team in the first Iditarod Race, built a log cabin 12 miles from the nearest road, was a roper and bulldogger in rodeo, trained horses and packed mules. He is also experimenting with new methods of growing fruit trees in arid areas. He has owned two small weekly newspapers in past years and has been managing editor of a medium-sized daily as well.

His coonhound thinks he’s wonderful.

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