Caregiving can be stressful

Caregivers work best in a T.E.A.M. environment. Team stands for “Together everyone achieves more.” I heard from a colleague who said that she and her siblings have had to “step up over the last six months to help her parents care for two elderly and frail grandparents. She has had to miss meetings due to this responsibility. One grandparent is not expected to live very much longer. The spouse is very distraught “cries every day and has really declined mentally.” Caregivers have to respond to the emotional and physical needs of their ailing loved ones, balance their own emotions, manage their day-to-day tasks, support each other and watch their loved ones deteriorate before their eyes. My colleague said that it is “just so sad” to see her grandparent like that. I have heard many people say that the reason that they do not visit loved ones in long-term facilities is because they cannot bear to see the person they knew as strong and vibrant now helpless and fragile. It speaks to one’s own mortality and may bring up many unresolved issues. We can help you; call us soon. Feel free to contact me at 864-888-7310 or Professional Counseling Lead Intern Erin Holtzclaw at 864-723-4079 to help you adjust to changes in your life. Anyone with added families duties has to make adjustments. Our team has resources to meet your needs.

Dear Dr. King: What is your best advice on forgiving others and finding peace with no regrets, anger, hostility or resentment? S.B., Fair Play

Dear S.B.: Forgiving means you decide to let your offender off the hook. Start by viewing the movie “Les Miserables” starring Liam Neeson. Pay close attention to the dialogue. Think about the decision of the Bishop and how it influenced so many people. Watch the main character work through his anger and change. Also note how “love” was his main motivator. Call me and let’s chat about what you gleaned from the movie.

Dear Dr. King: Have you ever misdiagnosed a patient? M.W., Belton

Dear M.W.: There have been times when I was not sure. I was trained to think of diagnostic labels as flexible and subject to change when more information is available. There have been times when I have changed or added a diagnosis. My practice is to be very conservative yet thorough when making diagnoses. This does not mean I won’t make a mistake, but it does mean that I seek to consider all possibilities. When I am unsure, I phone my mentor or another professional for their input. This is how I am training my interns.

Dear Dr. King: What are some tips to help relax you before a big important day? C.I., Georgetown, DE

Dear C.I.: I perform better when I feel in control of the situation. The night before three very important events in my career — an oral exam to become a candidate for my PhD, the final exam before receiving my PhD, and my professional counseling licensing exam -— I watched movies. I focused my preparation on the days leading up and did not try to cram the night before. For me, the night before is the time to relax, gather my materials, pack the car and so on. I mentally relax because I have done my best to get ready. My thoughts are: The outcome, come what may, will be for my good.

Dr. Debra A. King is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Professional Counselor Supervisor in the Upstate. You may reach her at HYPERLINK "mailto:askdrdebraking@aol.com" askdrdebraking@aol.com.