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FOR THE JOURNAL

H. Dean Bare

Who packs your lunch?

By H. Dean Bare, CEO of Tamassee DAR School

I play golf with a friend who repeatedly advises me that if I keep swinging my golf clubs the same way then I can expect the same results. He further tells me that to expect different results from the same actions is one true form of insanity. And he should know.

How many of us are a little insane when it comes to certain parts of our lives? How often do we wonder or even fret over why “that” keeps happening to me? If we were to stop and review our actions, we should surely discover that we have just continued doing what we are doing the same old way, time and time again?

I have been the witness to hundreds of families over a career of 35 years who have done the same things over and over with their children and accomplished the same results. Sadly, not only do the parents reap the same results, but they teach their children to act in such a way that the results pass on from generation to generation. While many of the repeated performances may bring traits and traditions that are to be admired and respected, maybe even cherished, others can and do foster the pain, agony, defeat and humiliation that can be so crippling to future healthy relationships. Injurious attitudes and actions, often hidden, eat away at a person’s self-esteem and can be adopted by a child as the normal way to interact and treat people. The results simply produced are one more generation doing the same thing and getting the same sad, tragic results.

October is set aside as Child Abuse Prevention Month. Let us all commit to examine our habits and traits for interaction with children and change those that have resulted in harm and even abuse to children. I am in charge of my actions and only I can change them. The greatest resource we have is our children; we must protect them.

The old timer who complained daily about his lunch one day said, “I am so tired of eating the same thing day after day.” His friend responded by asking, “Who packs your lunch?” Dropping his head the fellow mumbled, “I do.”