A year ago today I was kneeling in my living room floor eating an onion bagel (which I would later regret) and having an internal dialog with my belly. I was finally entering the active labor phase after two long weeks of false labor, and the baby was facing the wrong direction. I knew this would make for a longer and more painful labor, so I was doing my best to encourage him to turn. I was so excited my contractions had lasted through the night (not that I'd slept a wink) and that things were finally underway. Around three o'clock the next morning, Rowan Jude was born. True to that stubborn nature of his we'd soon discover, he never did turn.

I've learned a lot with Rowan, much more than I did with my older son Corbin. First, I learned patience. It was a long, frustrating year of trying before Rowan came about. Next I learned serenity and gratitude when it was discovered we had a rare blood incompatibility. Early on I had decided to focus on being grateful for each healthy week and for all the monitoring and ultrasounds because they let us sneak a peek at him every few weeks. We were able to watch him grow from the start. I learned to explore my options and make my own decisions based on what was best for him and me. I learned how empowering that truly was, and I learned how to fight for what I needed. I learned to have faith in my ability to birth and recognize that as the gift it is. I'd finally learned what it really was to be a woman, and to celebrate it. I learned what a compassionate and loving person Corbin was growing into. Brotherhood suits him well. When Rowan had to have surgery on his skull at 3 months of age, I learned how strong our family was. I learned what an amazing little boy I had if he could go through all that with a ready smile and adventurous spirit.

Tomorrow he will turn a year old. He's healthy, happy and absolutely brilliant. He continues to teach me so much, each and every day. I hope I never stop learning.

Happy First Birthday Rowan!